Valentine's Day
 By Adam Coon
Staff Writer
Valentine's Day has always been a day for lovers. But you may also wonder, where did it come from? There are rumors that Valentine was a priest in Rome when Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than men with families. Claudius II banned marriage for young men so that his army would grow. Valentine saw a great injustice in this and secretly continued to perform marriages. When he was discovered, Claudius II was enraged. This tended to happen when you defied an emperor, and Valentine was killed. Another legend is that Valentine, while in prison for unknown reasons, fell in love with the jailer's daughter and sent her a love note signed "From your Valentine" before he was executed.
Valentine's Day: A Male Perspective
Ah, Valentine's Day, a day of love, a day of passion, a day that most men dread because of obligatory duties and the fact that it is really easy to forget about until the last second. So why do we celebrate Valentine's Day? Good question. Because we're told that we're supposed to. Sorry guys, bringing up history will not get you out of it this year. But there are ways to make this day a little less stressful.
The easiest way to make Valentine's Day pleasant is to plan ahead. Make reservations, pay off a couple people so you can be secluded and profess your love to your bonnie lass under the stars, and live happily ever after (Note: If you can't come up with something mushy enough to say on your own, do not quote a movie that you both have seen recently. This will not end well for you). However, this method takes time, and effort, and the downside of a romantic night out is that any number of small things can completely ruin it. For instance, if the restaurant you chose doesn't have a secluded place or if the guy you paid off just takes your money because he doesn't really work there.
The simplest way to survive Valentine's Day is what many men already do. Forget about it until the 13th, curse loudly, see what girly movies are playing at the nearby movie theater, run to the mall for some cheap jewelry, and hope that the restaurant closest to it isn't too full. At this point, go home under the impression that you are "The Man" to have come up with this amazingly original idea at the last second. Until she gives you a present that obviously looks like she spent more than 5 minutes looking for. If you found a gift worthy of her gift in the small time frame you were looking, kudos; if not, the couch has been waiting for you.
But the best and most involved way to celebrate Valentine's Day is not to celebrate it. What? You're saying. How can I celebrate it by not celebrating it? It all begins long before the actual Valentine's Day. February 15th the year prior is a good day to start. Begin subtly hinting about how Valentine's Day is superficial and commercialized and about how you need more than just one day of the year to prove you love your significant other. Try mentioning why we celebrate the day (See opening paragraph, we don't know). Be spontaneous when it isn't expected, ergo, spontaneous. Suddenly, it's January, time for a night out, dinner and a movie? Yes please. This gets all of the running around out of the way early when everyone else isn't, putting everything on your own time schedule. Around the beginning of February mention how you just want to spend all day together on Valentine's Day away from the hubbub of the world because they aren't nearly as important, and that you shouldn't exchange gifts this year. "Darling, I just want to spend forever with you, let's stay in bed all day. All I need this year is your company." Cheesy? Yes. Romantic- ish? If done right. But here's the kicker, assuming that she agrees ahead of time to the no gifts idea, before you go to bed on the 13th, give her your present. The most comfortable, fluffy, and soft pair of pajamas you can find. "I know we said no gifts my sweet, but I thought you would like to lounge in comfort. (She does) It's ok that you didn't get anything for me (It is) this day is for you. (It is).Happy Valentine's Day." 
In this way everyone gets what they want. Your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever gets treated special throughout the year without a whole lot of work, and you don't have to do anything but sit around on Valentine's Day patting yourself on the back for a job well done.
Valentine's Day: Women's Perspective
 By Raeshelle Phillips
Staff Writer
Valentine's Day is one of the best holidays of the year! I grew up watching my dad pamper my mom, and her returning her love with his favorite meal and a nice outfit. We weren't neglected; my siblings and I usually received candy and a card. Seeing my parents celebrate such a romantic day set forth my romantic side.
I never really had a valentine until I met my husband, at nineteen, but I knew when I did have one, Valentine's Day would be a special day for the two of us. Now that I have a valentine for the rest of my life, I will never again have that dread of a lonely Valentine's Day.
Most women receive roses or their favorite flowers, chocolates, possibly jewelry, if they have been a good girlfriend/fiancé/wife. My husband does these things for me, but it means nothing if he's not doing it because he wants to. Many men take their ladies out to dinner, or if you're a lucky one, he makes a special dinner for you with his own hands! He knows to make it romantic, so you eat by candlelight on exceptional china with a huge flower centerpiece. I am the lucky one that gets a homemade dinner. Though we have gone out to dinner for the most organized romantic day of the year, we prefer the privacy our home offers.
All a woman has to do for her Valentine is end the day (perhaps start the day) with a romantic meeting in bed.
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Horoscopes
Quanzaar's Completely Accurate and not at all Falsified Horoscopes
 Aquarius: Love is in the air. If you are single and want to keep it that way, don't breathe the air
 Pisces: Y ou made plans for Valentine's Day; you will be called into
work.
 Aries: Remember last February? It will be a lot worse this year.
 Taurus: You will not be getting a dozen roses this year; you will be getting indigestion.
 Gemini: Some people are destined for bright lights and big cities; you live in Homer, though.
 Cancer: weethearts or Pepto Bismal: you choose.
 Leo: You are meant to be with someone, just not the one you're with.
 Virgo:You have met and fallen in love with your soul mate. Prepare for soul babies.
 Libra: The love of your life is somewhere else. You should move.
 Scorpio:If you are nice to your classmates, they will treat you to help on the next quiz. However, if the professor witnesses this, she will help you out the door.
 Sagittarious: Things have been going your way too much lately; watch for a change soon
 Capricorn: Try to make five people smile today. Do it tomorrow. Do it the next day. People will love you or think you are an imbecile.
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Walking won't kill you
 By Dylan Patterson
Assistant Edtior
Yes, it is another article about the parking situation here at KCC; shocking I know. You can't attend KCC without noticing that finding a place to park can be a challenge. We often write about it in the Bruin, how difficult finding a space can be is dependent on how much of a rush you are in or how lazy you are.
Let us be honest with ourselves,! many of us do not want to have to walk more than 10 feet from where we parked to our destination and would gladly run someone over or hold up traffic to claim a great spot. America, is labeled one of the most obese nations, it would not hurt us to be happy about taking a space further away and telling ourselves this is a little exercise we can enjoy every day.
However, with the increase of student enrollment, even the addition of more parking spaces in front of the Miller Gym might cause us to have to seek a space further out and let us be honest again; no one wants to have to go hiking through the cold and snow this time of year. As fellow student and photographer for the Bruin Nick Garrison says, "I think parking sucks, especially in the winter." I even see people have been parking in the area reserved for motorcycles. Adam Coon, a fellow student and staff writer for the Bruin, asks, "Do we really need that many dental parking slots? They are never full."
So, yes…parking sucks, we all know that; just deal with it and see it as an opportunity to get some exercise. Before you start complaining about reserved parking for faculty, think about this. "I hear students complain about reserved faculty parking, but really, after working here for 15 or 20 years, don't you think we've earned that spot?" wonders Dr. Elizabeth Kerlikowske.
 Cars parking in the motorcycle parking.
Photo by Nicholas Garrison
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PTK Operation Carnation
By Nicole Finkbeiner
Operation Carnation is a fundraiser is designed to help fund future activities. There will be a table hosted by Alpha Nu Eta in KCC`s Student Center from 10 am – 2 pm on Monday and Tuesday, February 13 & 14 to sell carnations for a $1.00. If you are interested in having a delivery to a staff or faculty member, it is only $2 additional cost. Go to class, learn something, and pick up a flower for a special someone. One- stop shopping at its finest.
Operation Carnation- February 13 & 14
photo by Ann Michels
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Doesn't give Adam "Sports"
by Adam Coon
Staff Writer
In this day and age it isn't unheard of for professional athletes to look for an edge. Maybe "unheard of" isn't the right word. It's damn near common for professional athletes to find ways of making themselves better at it through vigorous training and a healthy diet, or the easier Human Growth Hormone or steroids. Everyone has heard one time or another about some amazing star who has been caught using performance enhancing drugs to help them, and this is wrong, at least for now. These athletes are simply trying to make themselves a little more fun for us to watch. In reality, they're doing us a favor. Maybe we should do something for them, like start new leagues for various sports where taking drugs are not only recommended, but enforced.
Imagine you're watching a baseball game. On the face of it, baseball can be boring. If you have two really good pitchers the majority of the game is watching two dudes throw a ball to another one while a third man swings a stick three times then gets mad and sits down on a bench. It's glorified monkey in the middle. Now imagine if the man swinging the stick was 6'4", 325lbs and built like a freaking grizzly bear. He hits the ball and it is going to keep going and going. Suddenly, it isn't where your seat is that's going to get you a foul ball, but as you watch that little leather ball scream past a 747 just to say "What up?", you're hoping that it will land on your car since you paid more for your parking spot than the ticket to the game. I know this seems like a stretch, but think about the last time you were at a game. You weren't parked anywhere close to the field anyway. But maybe baseball isn't your thing. After all, it isn't overly physical. That's fine.
How about football? Suddenly every single player is built like an all-star linebacker. The quarterback, assuming he had his daily bowl of Steroidi-o's, hands off the ball. The running back is trapped behind the line, so the quarterback picks him up and throws him one-handed while stiff arming a rushing defender 10 yards to a first down. Or if the kicker, who've always gotten a bum rap as far as I'm concerned, lines up for a 95 yard field goal attempt. The ball is snaped, and he kicks the ball so hard it goes through the defensive line, taking a couple limbs with it along the way and still goes through the uprights landing in the crowd with a hand still attached for one hell of a souvenir! Can you say, "Football at its finest?"
Let's not be sexist. If everyone has the opportunity to take these performance enhancing drugs then all of the leagues can also be co-ed. Ginormous men with testicles that are now just for show lining up side by side with huge bearded women waiting for the whistle to blow so they can charge each other like a pack of rhinos fighting a herd of elephants for territory. Sweat, blood, tears, and syringes are all that will be left on the sidelines as these heroic athletes march back into the locker room with muscle tears and compound fractures they haven't even noticed yet.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the future of sports. Let's not punish those who want to be better for you and for their team. Let's just give them their own league where they can do what they want. If a 6'9" hockey player wants to take adrenaline from the glands of a still breathing horse and shoot it directly into his heart then shoot a puck through the opposing goalies chest while his pupils dilate to the size of quarters and somewhere in his mind children are laughing in the distance giving him the ultimate "I make Dahmer look tame" smile, I'm not going to stop him. Are you?
~Adam Coon is our "Snarky Staff Writer," and we appreciate his candor.
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Dear Dr. Destiny,
What can I do for Valentine's Day that shows my beloved how I feel with no money?
Broke Love
Dear Broke,
Check out a romantic movie you both will like or an action film he will like. Make a home cooked meal. Write things you enjoy doing together on slips of paper and pull them out of a hat. Let the evening begin.
Dear Dr. Destiny,
Is Valentine's Day a real holiday or is it just made up by Hallmark?
Skeptical Consumer
Dear Skeptical,
I share your feelings about the commercialization of Valentine's Day. It existed before the Hallmark company, but they have certainly taken advantage of it. It is a shame when not purchasing something makes someone else feel bad. Or as a comedian once said, "Really? You can't think of "I love you" by yourself? You need a card to say it?"
Dear Dr. Destiny,
If I'm having a problem with a professor, what can I do?
Stumped
Dear Stumped,
Step one is talking to the professor. Go have a conversation in person during office hours. Most profs spend their office hours waiting for students who never come by. If the conversation goes poorly, your next step is the department chair. If you have a grievance, it's helpful to have documentation to back up your version of what's going on. If you are still not satisfied, there is the Dean of your area. If you make it to the Dean with a complaint, chances are you're headed for a hearing about the class/incident. The College takes dissatisfaction seriously and want students to have the best possible experience they can. The Doctor has been there and done that.
Dear Dr. D,
When is a parking structure coming?
Tired of the hike
Dear Tired
When the Lord rains money on the school, until then carry an umbrella
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Procrastinator's Pleasure
By Dylan Patterson
Assistant Edtior
On February 7th, video game developer and publisher company Capcom will be releasing Resident Evil: Revelations on the Nintendo 3DS. The game will feature series favorite and returning heroes from the very first Resident Evil game, Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield.
Continuing to use the over-the-shoulder gun play style used in Resident Evil 4 and 5, Revelations will also incorporate the old fashioned survival horror from the earlier titles and will feature single player play style, with a two player mode to be detailed later in this article. While not yet released, previews suggest that players can take charge of Jill with newcomer Parker Luciani in searching for Chris on an supposedly abandoned ship standard in the Mediterranean. Chris will be working with newcomer Jessica Sherawat trekking through snowy mountains to meet up with Jill and Parker after investigating a Veltro base (a new enemy in Revelations).
Weapon customization will also return allowing players to upgrade their firearms to cause more damage, rate of fire, and even a two-round burst; these enhancements can even be swapped out and used on weapons found later in the game.
Some interesting new features to the game are called "Genesis" and "Raid Mode". "Genesis" allows a player to scan and area for ammo, health, and weapon upgrades, useful for players who might not notice these items right away. The "Raid Mode" acts as a separate campaign from the main story and features Jill and Chris shooting down enemies to earn loot in this arcade inspired game mode.
If you're a fan of the Resident Evil franchise, you'll mostly definitely want to pick up this game when it is released as it brings together the classic survival horror genre of the older games with the action shooter elements of the newer games. Don't miss it!
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